Turning back!!!
I was lost in the middle of wilderness. Walking all alone. Caring with an empty mind and with an empty heart. I started to recall of what had happen to in the past. Then a name of a friend captures my senses. A name that sounds unfamiliar. And then one day somebody hand me a letter. A story was created.
Last November 8, 2004, I received a letter from a person whom I haven’t talked once. That was very unusual to me somebody hand me a letter. I pause for a moment and looked at the letter that was given to me. When I turn it back I read the name of the sender. It puzzled me for a while…"oh! My God! I can’t believe it!" I put it in inside my pocket. Trying to ignore the letter. But I couldn’t stop my feeling to read it. It made me smile and wonder.
This is the reason why I wrote this piece. As far as the east meet the west. I won’t let anyone stop me. So here it goes…
I’m afraid that you’ll be waving your hands. If you know who is Jeany. You might turn your back. I don’t know. Honestly, every step I take, every time I’m far away home used to ask myself. "Why am I doing this?" "Why I have to wander and wonder about things?" Some questions are answered along the way. But some are shattered. I have to pick up the pieces for me to find them one by one. Along the way I’m tired of picking the pieces. So, I threw them all back to the place where I found them. I’m tired!!! As I listen to the song entitled "warrior is a child". Revive by Mr. Gary Valenciano. I cried!!! The lines are touching me. As the line goes:" people say that I’m amazing, I’m strong beyond my ears. But they don’t see inside of me I’m hiding all the tears. They don’t know that I come running home when I fall down. They don’t know, who picks me up when no I one is around. I drop my sword and cry just for a while. Coz deep inside this armor the warrior is a child."

Artist: Dashboard Confessional lyricsAlbum: The Drowning lyricsSong: Drowning lyrics
Am i drowning you out? Boasts of defection If everything was up to me, I would be gone by the first sight The first sight of hope I'd be packed up and out on my way. Time has been spread so thin And it's just hours 'fore the day begins. And the things that are keepin you here are not keepin me here. The things that are keepin you here will keep me away. And "you'll be sorry" isn't that what they'll say? Don't follw your heart 'cause it just seems to get in your was. And dont ever leave here and mope at you lesuire and straighten out your crease dear and truth is in a tall beer Are you drowing your fears? Pasts of deception When everything is hazy then everything will be OK When everything is hazy then you wont be sad that you stayed. Time has been spread so thin And it's just hours 'till the day begins. And the things that are keeping you here are not keeping me here. The things that are keeping you here Will keep me away And "you'll be sorry" isn't that what they'll say? Don't follow your heart 'cause it just seems to get in your way And don't ever leave here and mope at your lesuire and straighten out your crease dear, and truth is in a tall beer... Thats the end [3x]

Artist: Linkin Park lyricsAlbum: Live In Texas lyricsSong: From The Inside lyrics
I don’t know who to trust your surprise (Everyone feels so far away from me) Happy thoughts sift through dust and the lies (Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit) (Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet) (All I ever think about is this) (All the tiring time between) (And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me) [Chorus] Take everything from the inside and throw it all away Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you Tension is building inside steadily (Everyone feels so far away from me) Happy thoughts forcing their way out of me (Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit) (Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet) (All I ever think about is this) (All the tiring time between) (And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me) [Chorus] Take everything from the inside and throw it all away Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you I won’t waste myself on you You You Waste myself on you You You I’ll take everything from the inside and throw it all away Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you Everything from the inside and just throw it all away Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you You You

emotionless

Hey dad I’m writing to youNot to tell you, that I still hate youJust to ask you how you feelAnd how we fell apart how this fell apartAre you happy out there in this great wide world? Do you think about your sons? Do you miss your little girl? When you lay your head down how do you sleep at night? Do you even wonder if we’re all right? We’re alrightWe’re alrightIt’s been a long hard road without you by my sideWhy weren’t you there all the nights that we cried? You broke my mother’s heart, you broke your children for lifeIt’s not ok but we’re alrightI remember the days you were a hero in my eyesBut those were just a long lost memory of mineI spent so many years learning how to surviveNow I’m writing just to let you know that I’m still aliveThe days I spent so cold, so hungry, were full of hateI was so angry, the scars run deep inside this tattooed bodyThere’s things I’ll take to my grave, but I’m ok, I’m okIt’s been a long hard road without you by my sideWhy weren’t you there all the nights that we cried? You broke my mother’s heart, you broke your children for lifeIt’s not ok but we’re alrightI remember the days you were a hero in my eyesBut those were just a long lost memory of mineI spent so many years learning how to surviveNow I’m writing just to let you know that I’m still aliveAnd sometimes I forgive, yeah and this time I’ll admitThat I miss you, said I miss youIt’s been a long hard road without you by my sideWhy weren’t you there all the nights that we cried? You broke my mother’s heart, you broke your children for lifeIt’s not ok but we’re alrightI remember the days you were a hero in my eyesBut those were just a long lost memory of mineI spent so many years learning how to surviveNow I’m writing just to let you know that I’m still aliveAnd sometimes I forgive, yeah and this time I’ll admitThat I miss you, said I miss you...hey dad

Sounds of Silence
I can’t understand. I feel angry to somebody. I wanted to end my life in a very simple way. I wanted to run, until I get tired and smile in my last breath. When I get to the ground, I’ll face the sky; close my eyes into the light or in the darkness of life. I don’t know why I wrote this, I couldn’t explain what I feel. I had mixed emotions nowadays. I wanted to smile, cry, shout, face and kneel to the ground. I feel numb, I can’t feel the feeling of love, and I only feel the pain.
As I walk in the street I tired to find a room for me. But there are a lot of people that are coming into my life. I continue to walk but I can’t find one for me. Finally, I found a room for me. It is quite small, good for just a person and the walls are whitewashed with white. I faced the ceiling, recalling the past… I ended up with a glaring of light and somebody’s calling my name saying, "Jeany come with me… " Reaching for my hand…

TIME HEALS…
I could still remember the day we’ve met
The stare of your eyes
That makes my heart melt.
I don’t know why I felt this way
My heart is sick when you’re not around
And beats faster every time
I’ve seen you in a distance.
My mind can’t find any reason
Why did the time allow us to meet?
That’s the reason why you still linger from within.
I guess, I am down to one reason
And that’s the reason to move on
This is the only reason I know.
I tried to heal the pain,
That I brought into your life.
But I guess you don’t care.
I don’t know how to end this up
But my mind keeps on saying…
Only "time heals"…

This poem I wrote is dedicated to my crush named Mike Dennece L. Rondon. He’s a gay. I don’t know why fall to him.

your poem!!!!

"Goodbye Note"
I am sweep by the current
I could not swim against
There I am in the middle of the ocean
Drifting towards the shore.
It is the shore of my dreams
Leaving behind my nightmares
Towards unfamiliar faces
Leaving behind the ones I know.
Out of this chaos I see
A hope that never stops in me
Just like the cycle of a new day
In the face of a despair so gray.
You, who see through my heart,
I leave these words for you
"You can be tough, you can be strong
‘Coz there is a light inside of you."
And the time will pass us by
The current will sweep me back
I will see your face in the crowd
Silent, so deep, so true my man!
Thanks for everything,
YOLA
"Shit Happens."



My friend named "YOLANDA" wrote this. She’s now in Cebu to find her fate. She was very cool. We both like music. When somebody says describe Yola, it would be in two words "Nothing Compares!"

i don't know

it sounds really good.A few hours ago i saw my crush named Marl Ian Dionaldo.hahahaha..............sounds really funny........................and worsed.............he pass infront of me.............say goodbye now.............jeany is now signing of............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! take care................love lots..................

Love Struck Possession
A true love can bear pain and longitude of waiting even if it takes forever. When confused about love, follow your heart it may not always be right, but you will have the memories to make you smile. Your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another thing, before you decide you should first think whether you have a better head or heart. It’s okay to kiss a fool or let the fool kiss you but never let the kiss fool you. Don’t find love, let it find you, that’s why its called falling in love because you don’t force yourself to fall, you just fall. Never be ashamed to show love when you feel it, because one day you might realize that love is already afraid to show itself to you.
Girls are like ANGELS, they easily forgive and forget.
To love someone is to have courage to walk away and let go, the other one that wishes to be free, no matter how much it hurts. Never say " I LOVE YOU" when you don’t even care. Never talk about feelings if they aren’t there. Never touch a heart if you mean to break it. Never look in the eyes if all you have to say a lie, and never say hello if you mean goodbye. Love is like a butterfly the more you chase it the more it eludes you, but if you just, let it fly, it would come to you, when the least you expect. On the course of love, people must teach their heart to be brave enough to let go when they realized that things are not meant to be after all. Most relationship are like traffic signs, one way, two way, don’t enter, slippery when wet; No U turn, no left turn, but what it like most is to give way, words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest thing to repair.
The simplest pick up line doesn’t have so many words. All I need is "I" for me to say it "LOVE" for me to share it and "YOU" for me to give it. Don’t shed tears for someone who hurt you. Don’t long for the person if they left. Don’t feel sorry if you fail when you try your best. Someone out there is for more deserving for your time and love. If I tell you "I LOVE YOU" you shouldn’t wonder why or how, since when, or for how long because I wouldn’t have a single answer except to tell you again.
In the game of love, it doesn’t really matter who won ort lose, what’s important is that you know when to hold and when to let go. It’s the presence of soul that makes you "LIVE" but it’s the presence of "LOVE" that makes you want to live. If it breaks your heart, the time you truly love might be sweeter the second time around. It’s hard to find true love because people are too caught up looking for the perfect person or someone else. They don’t realize that love is not finding the perfect person but being the perfect person for someone else.
Love knows no reason. Love knows no lie, love defeat s all reason, love has no eyes, but love is not blind, they can see but they don’t mind. We are sometimes afraid to ay " I LOVE YOU" instead we say " I MISS YOU" but after misunderstood. Leaving the ones we loved, on which you don’t realized that it also feels some feelings like you do. Love not because the person is the only one, but because the person is the one you are willing to give up everything because it’s worth fight for.
It’s hard to pretend to love someone that you don’t. But harder to pretend you don’t love someone that you do. Once you had loved, you will always live. For what’s on your mind may escape, but what’s on your heart will always remain forever. Love is not how you forget but rather you forgive. It is not how you listen but how you understand, not by what you receive but what you give. True love wants a person to be happy even if you won’t be the one that the person will share his/her happiness with. If you love someone, don’t hold back, never hide, your feelings, never economized your love and most of all never take a person for granted because you will never know what you have ‘till it’s gone. Sometimes we think that loving someone can be such a risky thing. How else would you win if you don’t take chances? You don’t lose by giving you lost by holding back.
Never try to impress someone to make him/her in love with you, coz when you do, you will have to keep the standard for the rest of your life. Never rush in love for it will never runs out. Let love be the one to look for you, so that when you start to fall, you always know that you’ve feeling is sure. Yes…it drives you crazy, it makes you mad, jealous, sad, and it even cause you sleepless nights, and breaks your heart, will come to think of it? It is healthy to fall in love. True love is not when you the heart beats faster or fastest but when it beats no more and let the love is still there. If you love a person with no reason at all, then you are using your heart.
Love is not a word to say when we feel guilty, not the right word to say when leave a person. But love really matters when we share our thought, minds and our hearts. How do I say goodbye to someone I never had? Why do tears fall to someone who was never (been with) really mine? Why do I miss someone I was never been wit? Why do I love someone whose love was never been truly mine?
Don’t be too good, I might miss you, don’t be too caring, I might like you, don’t be too sweet, I might fall. It’s for me to love you when you won’t love me after all.
"Letting go can be very painful but it can be the highest form of showing one’s love to others".
Luke 16:10
Whoever can be trusted with very little, can also be trusted with much, whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much…

SIMPLE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE
It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails. You can analyze and look for some reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore than take life out of the experience.
Love I more than the sum of the interest and attraction and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes each time, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned it’s way.
Too often, when love comes to people, they try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was.
They want answers there were to answers. They want to know what is wrong with them or they try to get their love to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstance. They blame each other. They try to give meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept it’s own mysteries ways, they live in a sea of mystery.
You need to treat what love brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love, go gentle with yourself, there is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest on the other person’s heart.
If you find someone else in love with you towards whom you feel no love, feel honored that love come and called at your door, but gentle refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how love deals with you and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are very different.
"If you fall in love with another who falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment".
Remember this. Keep it in your heart. YOU DON’T CHOOSE LOVE, LOVE CHOOSES YOU. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your lives. Feel the ay it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it to you. Give it to others who seem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.
Love has its own, its season and its reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coarse it or reason it into staying. If it chooses to leave from the heart of your love, there is nothing you can do and nothing you should do. Be glad that it comes to live for a moment in your life. IF YOUKEEP YOUR HEART OPENS, IT WILL SURELY COME AGAIN.

SHATTERED
SOMETIMES WE MEET CROSSROADS IN LIFE
WE WONDER WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE,
THE RIGHT PATH OR THE UNKNOWN? AS WE DECIDE, WE CONSIDER SO MANY FACTORS.
EITHER WAY, WE HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES.
THEIR WILL ALAYS BE THOSE THAT WILL BE HURT.
BUT IT’S PART OF THE JOURNEY.
AT THE END OF OUR CONFUSIONS, WE THANK THE PEOPLE WHO HELD OUR HANDS DSPITE RHE PAINS,
AND TELL US, I HURT BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE HURT.
ONLY ME CAN HEAL MY WOUNDS,
ONLY ME CAN END THE PAINS.
I PUT MY LIFE AT STAKE, I GAMLBEDMY SOUL IN GAMES,
BUT I CAN PICK MY BROKEN PIECES AND MOLD MYSELF WHOLE AGAIN.
ONLY ME CAN SAVE MY SOUL, ONLY ME KNOW WHAT IS BEST.
THE HEART AND HEAD SHALL MEET SOMEWHERE.
SHOULD I CHOOSE WHAT IS RIGHT AND BEST? OR WHAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY FOR A WHILE?

pieces

SHATTERED
SOMETIMES WE MEET CROSSROADS IN LIFE
WE WONDER WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE,
THE RIGHT PATH OR THE UNKNOWN? AS WE DECIDE, WE CONSIDER SO MANY FACTORS.
EITHER WAY, WE HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES.
THEIR WILL ALAYS BE THOSE THAT WILL BE HURT.
BUT IT’S PART OF THE JOURNEY.
AT THE END OF OUR CONFUSIONS, WE THANK THE PEOPLE WHO HELD OUR HANDS DSPITE RHE PAINS,
AND TELL US, I HURT BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE HURT.
ONLY ME CAN HEAL MY WOUNDS,
ONLY ME CAN END THE PAINS.
I PUT MY LIFE AT STAKE, I GAMLBEDMY SOUL IN GAMES,
BUT I CAN PICK MY BROKEN PIECES AND MOLD MYSELF WHOLE AGAIN.
ONLY ME CAN SAVE MY SOUL, ONLY ME KNOW WHAT IS BEST.
THE HEART AND HEAD SHALL MEET SOMEWHERE.
SHOULD I CHOOSE WHAT IS RIGHT AND BEST? OR WHAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY FOR A WHILE?

another one

PLEASE HEAR WHAT I’M NOT SAYING
Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear,
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks.
Masks that I’m afraid to take off.
And none of them are I.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature of me.
But don’t be fooled; for God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I gave you the impression that I’m secure,
That all is sunny and unruffled with me,
Within as well as without.
That confidence is my name and coolness is my game,
That the waters calm and I’m in command,
And that I need no one.
But don’t believe me
Please.
My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my masks.
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies my smugness, my complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in ALONENESS!
But hide calls.
I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a masks to hide beyond/behind.
A non-chalet, sophisticated façade, to help me pretend.
To shield me from the glance that knows
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only salvation.
And I know it.
That is if it’s followed by acceptance, it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me, from myself.
From my own self-built prison walls,
From the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me
Of what I can’t assure myself.
That I’m really worth something. But I don’t dare, I’m afraid to
I’m afraid your glance will not followed by acceptance and love.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me that you’ll laugh.
And your laughter will kill me.
I’m afraid that deep–down I’m nothing. That I’m just no good.
And that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game
With a façade of assurance without, and a trembling child within.
And so beers the parade of masks.
And my life becomes a front.
Tidily chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that’s really nothing.
And nothing of what’s everything, of what’s crying within me.
So when I’m going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I’m saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m not saying
What I’d like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say,
But what I can’t say. I dislike hiding.
Honestly.
I dislike hiding the superficial game I’m playing, the superficial phony game.
I’d really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me. But you’ve got to help….

poems

Why?
There’re the things I can’t explain,
Things that puzzle the mind,
Questions for which I need
Satisfactory answers to find.
Why the dew on grass?
Why do flowers die?
Why death of beauteous things?
Why, oh why, why?
Why the lightning blinding flash
Why the winds mighty roar?
Why the thunder’s deaf’ning crash?
Why do eyes open and close?
Why can’t they open keep?
And why do they open when I want
Them shut tight in sleep?
Why these things, I can’t explain;
But here I am where destiny brings;
My books I read by night by day.
So to learn the ways of things.